Why is this beach empty? Because if you're
like me, you're too poor to be there.
like me, you're too poor to be there.
Okay, so you're not on some beautiful island or on a Floridian beach and instead are staring at another cloudy 40 degree day in the Midwest, but lets not have those lucky bastards who are drinking tequila and getting ready to appear on the next Girls Gone Wild video have all the fun. Here are a few activities for us poor people:
Sleep: They don't call it Spring BREAK for nothing. If you're in a tropical paradise you almost feel the need to be awake and experiencing it, not so in the Midwest, see if you can sleep for more hours than you're awake. Even if you lose, you win!
Read a book: I don't care if its Tolstoy or Dr. Seuss (my current read, who wouldn't want to eat Green Eggs and ham on a boat, with a goat, with a fox or on a box?) This is also a good time to catch up on all the books you were supposed to read this semester or finally buy them.
Watch a movie: If you are going to annoy your friends, roomates, co-workers with every line from Superbad or Anchorman or Old School or Waynes World, please get the lines right. Here's your chance to re-watch these movies and annoy everyone for the rest of the semester. Schwing!
NCAA Tournament: So what if your bracket is destroyed by the time the Thursday's first games are over, there is always a chance for that monumental upset or buzzer beater: remember when that small school from Louisiana used a buzzer beater to upset Iow... you know what lets move on.
Work: I know work sucks, but it's a novel idea. While your friends are wasting their money buying drinks for girls they'll never see again or buying weed from one of their destination's 10,000 dealers, you can be making money to buy drinks for girls you'll hope you never see again.
And last but not least, watch TV: Okay, so you're not on the beach with hot girls or guys walking by you and you're not nursing your tenth mai tai and soaking in the sun on the fourth straight 90 degree day, but you could be watching the travel channel and seeing at least the beach and you don't have to worry about sand in hard to reach places or the fact that you're 385 pounds.
Oh, who am I kidding? Spring Break in the Midwest sucks.
Sleep: They don't call it Spring BREAK for nothing. If you're in a tropical paradise you almost feel the need to be awake and experiencing it, not so in the Midwest, see if you can sleep for more hours than you're awake. Even if you lose, you win!
Read a book: I don't care if its Tolstoy or Dr. Seuss (my current read, who wouldn't want to eat Green Eggs and ham on a boat, with a goat, with a fox or on a box?) This is also a good time to catch up on all the books you were supposed to read this semester or finally buy them.
Watch a movie: If you are going to annoy your friends, roomates, co-workers with every line from Superbad or Anchorman or Old School or Waynes World, please get the lines right. Here's your chance to re-watch these movies and annoy everyone for the rest of the semester. Schwing!
NCAA Tournament: So what if your bracket is destroyed by the time the Thursday's first games are over, there is always a chance for that monumental upset or buzzer beater: remember when that small school from Louisiana used a buzzer beater to upset Iow... you know what lets move on.
Work: I know work sucks, but it's a novel idea. While your friends are wasting their money buying drinks for girls they'll never see again or buying weed from one of their destination's 10,000 dealers, you can be making money to buy drinks for girls you'll hope you never see again.
And last but not least, watch TV: Okay, so you're not on the beach with hot girls or guys walking by you and you're not nursing your tenth mai tai and soaking in the sun on the fourth straight 90 degree day, but you could be watching the travel channel and seeing at least the beach and you don't have to worry about sand in hard to reach places or the fact that you're 385 pounds.
Oh, who am I kidding? Spring Break in the Midwest sucks.
No comments:
Post a Comment